Are You Meant For Each Other? How To Tell.

7 Oct

Hello lovers!

In dating and relationships, attraction is the easy part, getting him or her to like you back is a bit harder, but building a stable relationship is by far the hardest.  In my case, all the previous relationships I’ve had were led to a breakup by compatibility issues.  Though I try to be as discerning as I can before committing myself, there are still issues that don’t come out till you get really cozy with each other.  No one is perfect, and I have minor issues with my boyfriend’s snoring, but that is something I can live with.  When you encounter big issues, such as dishonesty or worse cheating, then you can say you and your partner cannot be considered compatible; and that will make breakup inevitable.

What do you do after making her like you (with the help of SIBG.com guide to get a woman to like you back)? What to do to sustain the good relationship you started with her?

Attraction, passion, and compatibility are probably the three most important and most basic ingredients that make a good, solid start for a relationship. Of the three, compatibility is practically the only one that you get the chance to test. After all, attraction draws you to that person right at the beginning. Passion keeps the fire burning even when attraction wanes out of familiarity but compatibility makes one stick there – effortlessly.

There are many ways to test compatibility in a relationship. In fact, if you use that word to search on Google, you’d get tens of thousands of free ‘love tests’ and compatibility tests. But what does compatibility mean? Do loving to eat the same thing, or loving the same music, or maybe even enjoying the same stuff together make you compatible? Yes, but not entirely.

Compatibility is sharing the same amount of enjoyment for the same things but it’s not all that; compatibility also requires knowing how to appreciate and enjoy what the other person loves doing. It’s also about loving two different things that complement each other; like a singer and a dancer, or a photographer and a model. Compatibility makes company with each other enjoyable even in the long run. That is why it makes for a perfect ingredient for a relationship, without which a relationship will find it hard to thrive.

Are you compatible?

How do you test your compatibility? How do you make sure that your prospective ladylove is someone you’re compatible with? Here are 5 easy ways to test compatibility (believe me, they are so easy you’d be surprised to know you have already been doing it ever since you started dating):

Plan a date. Get date suggestions from her and list down your own suggestions too. Her areas of interest will be revealed by her choices and yours to her. Ask her especially if your Dating an Alpha Female.  Try to see if each other’s interests spark you both.

Spend a day together without prior plans. A random date is one of the most effective ways to test compatibility. Would you survive – comfortably – if you spent an entire day without any planned activity?

Spend your day the way she does. Discover her persona by living her life for a day. It would surprise you to know how her mundane, ordinary day could actually tell how well you would be if you were a couple. Taking turns would be really healthy.

Answer a ‘slam book’ questionnaire. It is not as immature as it seems, trust me. Favorite food, music, book, blah blahblah – the list goes on and on and this is an outright shameless way to ask your date/prospective girlfriend if you are compatible or not.

Spend time in conversations. Conversations offer the best ways to check for compatibility. Compatibility is when you don’t always agree on a topic that neither of you planned to talk about but still manage to enjoy an effortless conversation – one that does not have a beginning or an end, and no awkward moments in between.

Also, take this test from cosmopolitan.com.

Make your tests fun and light. And more importantly, don’t let the result dictate how you run your relationship. Email me for further questions at lindy@thesoilsisters.com. Good luck!

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Online Dating Mistakes You Need To Avoid

23 Aug

Good day online friends!

Being a part time blogger means I spend a lot of time online.  While I blog about dating, that does not mean that I’m a fan of online dating.  I just can’t get over the many risks involved.  It is too easy for anyone to create a fake online profile.  That may seem funny when you consider that I met Gene, a former boyfriend, online.  The difference is that he’s also from the garden state and I never let my guard down till we have had a few face-to-face dates. Still some people succeed in finding their soul mates online.

Online dating may be the most innovative thing that’s ever happened to dating and relationships.  Where else can you meet women from several thousand miles across the world away without moving off of your bed? And how else can you meet and talk to five different ladies without even having to leave your coffee table?

But online dating has got to be one of the riskiest ways to date too. The internet is so open and so free that anyone can claim to be practically anything online! And online dating and online dating sites are perfect places for cyber criminals to look for their next victim. Men, women, young and old – it does not matter who or what you are; you can fall prey to these people if you are careless.

Nevertheless, online dating is still a great way to meet people and prospective relationship partners. You can be successful by knowing how to get a girl to like you as a girlfriend and end up being their dream happily-ever-after – something they’ve never found in people that they meet in the real world.

Just like any other forms of dating, there are things that are absolute no-no’s when trying to date online. Apart from the usual safety blunders (meeting them alone or in private places, giving out personal information, etc), how you present yourself and how you talk with people online makes or breaks your chances of meeting someone through these dating sites. Here are some of the most common mistakes people make when dating online:

Being too eager: This is a common mistake men do in dating. Take it easy! Just because you have an awesome profile picture and a single poke and ping can do much of the picking up for you does not mean you have to rush everything. Give the girl something to be curious about. Don’t just give everything out in one chat session.

Being too sexual:  This is where all the bad things begin, really! Just because it’s easier to get away with online dating doesn’t mean you can tread such dangerous and possibly dirty waters. Unless you want to be a real life John Tucker, avoid anything sexual when online dating. Don’t use online dating for your lustful desires; this makes you so vulnerable to online predators.

Being too gullible: I could really not find a better and more appropriate term other than gullible. You can’t trust some woman just because she seems nice online! Just because she says she loves you on your third straight chat session does not mean that she does! Get to know her. Is she stable? Does she have issues? Is she an alpha female? Don’t break your heart (or your bank account) with someone you have not yet met in the real world; or at least don’t put everything out there for her. Like I said earlier, anyone can assume any online persona they want and she could just be telling you the same thing she’s been saying to ten other guys online.

Being too reserved: You can be prudent without being a total killjoy. Online dating was meant to be fun and convenient; at least avail of the fun part without making yourself vulnerable. Protect yourself but never forget to still have all the dating fun you deserve. And as they always say, “Think before you click!”

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Hollywood Types Women Don’t Want Their Boyfriends To Emulate

20 Aug

Greetings boys and girls!

Almost every person I know has dreamed of being in a relationship with a big Hollywood star.  That includes me.  I had the wildest crush for Tom Cruise for a long time.  But the dream passed and I went on to date some really wonderful men.  I realized that not all big Hollywood stars can be describes as dreamboats, some are a girl’s worst nightmare as a boyfriend.

Every girl has her nightmares about relationships and the kind of guys their boyfriends may turn out to be. There’s the generic cheating boyfriend, the insensitive one, the flirt, the I-couldn’t-care-less-about-you boyfriend, the serial dater, and the I-love-myself-more-than-you among others.

There are a lot of mistakes men make, which we should be mindful of.

There are types of men whom we wish our boyfriends don’t become.  And these Hollywood celebs turn out to be the human form of some of these nightmares!

There are types of men whom we wish our boyfriends don't become.

There are types of men whom we wish our boyfriends don’t become.

Here’s my list of Hollywood men girls never want their dates/boyfriends to become. Boys, take your cue and don’t be like them!

Chris Brown – Does this need any more explaining to do? He will beat girls, break her nose and her heart, and, well, will call her a B**** in public. I’ll let my momma break a guy’s jaw if someone does even half what he did to RiRi! It always starts with verbal abuse. One slip, they apologize and then they do it again. If you’re a guy and you notice yourself starting to become abusive, seek professional counselling. That’s an anger management problem right there.

Joe Jonas – He allegedly broke up with Taylor Swift over the phone. That’s just rude and unforgivable. Seriously, he deserved whatever breakup song Taylor made for him. And there were rumors that he asked his dad to break up with Demi Lovato on his behalf. Whoa! Beats me! Guys, man up to your girl if you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore. Nobody wants to be the last one to know they’re single. Learn how to communicate PROPERLY, even in the bad times. We will appreciate you for it.

John Mayer – I have to admit I fell for the way he writes his songs (I can’t possibly find a creature that didn’t like ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’) but he’s a douche boyfriend in the purest form. He talks too much to the press, does not have good things to say about his exes even in public and he cheats on them too! Bah, the worst form of kiss and tell man! A classy man will never diss a lady no matter how bad their relationship ended. A gentleman, publicly or privately, will always be nice to a woman whether he is dating her or not. In fairness to him though, he admitted to being a jerk.

Charlie Sheen – you can never be too sure if you’re talking to him or to the crack. Enough said. Don’t even think about starting it. It’s something that will take over your life, your relationships, and your job. If you have been using it, get professional help as soon as possible.

George Clooney – Why is he still single? And how often does he change his trophy girlfriend in a year? This type consists of the sweet, debonair men who are almost always single even when they’re always seen in the company of many different and beautiful women.

Guys, learn how to commit or end it early on. Be honest about the relationship – about what you’re looking for, what you’re not looking for and what you can give. Don’t leave a woman hanging on to the hope that your relationship is going further than the red carpet.

Girls, let us be careful when choosing. Not all attractive men are nice men. I was thankful when a friend forwarded me this article yesterday. So now I know that some men just use tactics just to attract us. Be warned!

Girls should avoid them (or at least, avoid falling for them in the case of Good Guy George Clooney), and men should learn from their mistakes and bad attitudes.

This post tells you what girls don’t want their boyfriends to become.  Do you want to know what women want their boyfriends to be? Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

Friends You Should Avoid Meeting Your Girlfriend

31 Jul

Hello online friends.  I hope you continue to find my posts useful!

There was a time when I was in high school here in New Jersey, when I fell for a friend’s ex.  They had been separated almost half a year before the guy and I started seeing each other so there were no issues about cheating or back stabbing.  Young as we were then, the brief relationship still managed to result in a lot of very awkward moments which strained our friendship almost to the breaking point.  I guess we all have to be careful with our friends’ partners and former partners.

They say friends are families that we get to choose, that is why we share certain things and a special kind of bond with them that we would have with some blood relatives. We trust them, we love them to a certain degree, and we are more than happy for them to be friends with our significant others.

In an old article, I stressed the importance of having your girlfriend meet your guy buddies. And that makes sense, actually. When your girl knows who you go out with and what you guys do together, she is more at ease. She would also have a certain sense of peace knowing that because your guy friends are technically her friends too, they will not lead you to temptation.

But there are certain guy friends that are better off away from your girlfriend’s friends list. In fact, they’re best left in the acquaintance arena and locked there forever – or at least until they are ‘safe’ enough to be friends.

Here are the 5 guy friends that should never be friends with your girlfriend:

The player: If you know how to be an amazing flirt with girls, he’s the one you go to. But friends with your girl? No, I am not saying your player friend will stab your back, or that your girlfriend will fall for his seductive antics. All I’m saying is there is reason for what I call preventive maintenance. Though I am not generalizing, your player friends can hurt your relationship in two possible ways: (1) your girlfriend will never be at ease knowing all the ‘player’ stories your friend will share with her, and (2) he actually might end up seducing your girlfriend. On that latter part, if you girlfriend says ‘No’, your friendship is ruined and, well, if your girlfriend says yes to his advances – do I really need to elaborate on that?

The bestfrienemy: Ah but of course. We all have that one person that we are blood brothers with one moment and mortal enemies the next. He’s the type of guy in your group who would be happy to see you fail. If anything goes wrong, if you and your girlfriend fight or reach the brink of breakup and you’re looking to your friends for support and backup, trust that this guy won’t have your back. Na-ah. Oh but he’ll buy you a bottle or two of beer if you two breakup.

The Jealous One: Well, he’s selfish and jealous and has never been much of a true friend. And he has always had this secret contempt for you and he’s happy when you fail. He won’t even offer you beer when you’re sad! Careful with this guy, he will try to break you and GF up because he either wants you miserable, or wants her for himself. Or both.

The handsome one: If you want your girlfriend’s attention all on you, better keep her off the looker in your circle. Their becoming buddies may not be the best thing because she might start noticing this guy more than you and comparisons may arise. Even if he’s truly innocent and does not like your girlfriend, you’d still lose your girlfriend when she ends up falling for him.

The clingy best friend: Not all of your friends are a threat to you. Some are a threat to your girlfriend. There will always be that one friend who’s so protective and so possessive of you that he definitely would not want you to be with anyone else because he wants you all for himself. He’s not necessarily gay. He’s just clingy and probably single.

It’s okay for her to be friends with your friends, but there should always be boundaries.  It would also be great if you know how to keep your girlfriend from cheating. Good luck.

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Do You Dare Date An Alpha Female?

8 Jul

Hi guys!  Lindy’s back!

I have always been attractive to the silent and strong types.  While I am no slouch myself, I would not go as far as to claim that I’m an alpha female.  But in back when I was taking a few semesters at Rutgers, I had a friend who was.  Lily, funny name for an alpha female, intimidated most men.  A lot of those who gathered enough courage to try and ask her out failed her standards.  But she had a stable relationship with an equally impressive male by the name of John.  Last I heard they were married with two beautiful children.  Are you strong enough to date an alpha female?

Tough, feisty, never backs down on anybody, opinionated, confident, leader of the pack – these are just brief and concise definitions of what alpha females are. They can turn heads wherever they go, they can command anybody’s attention, and they can suck in all the space in a room.

And you’re going out on a date with her? – Consider it a blessing and a curse at the same time.

These alpha females are so strong and so sure of themselves that as a guy, it may be a hard fit to get in a relationship with her. She is so satisfied with herself that a relationship – the security and comforts of it – could as well be an option and not a necessity.

The thing is, alpha females are so attractive. But what makes them attractive is the exact same thing that makes them very elusive to the ordinary men out there. To date an alpha female, you must be an alpha male yourself!

Here are some tips on how to catch an alpha female’s interests on a date:

The first secret is to not be intimidated. Sure they’re smart, witty, outstanding, and irresistible, and they could easily transform the confident jock in you into a tongue-tied little dork. But hey, remember that you are an outstanding male too! Just to be sure, read this guide on how to ask a woman out.  You have your own set of achievements and characteristics that make you amazing, awesome, fun, and interesting and it would be cheating her and yourself if you don’t give her a chance to see it! If you show her that you’re scared and intimidated, and that she can twirl you around her fingers easily, then she’ll lose interest right at the first minute.

Look her in the eye. Show her that you are on matching levels. Show her that you are as strong and smart and awesome as she is. Show her what makes you interesting. Most, if not all alpha females, use conversations to gauge their dates. Be sensible and witty and insert a bit of humor now and then. Make sure you don’t make common men mistakes. Don’t let her drive the conversation – take the driver’s seat and don’t let her take control. That is not, however, being a selfish dictator; you got to let her speak too. You need to listen too, you know. Just as long as you don’t let her take the conversation where she wants it, you’re good to go.

Be a sensitive and genuinely nice guy. They’re only alpha females, not man haters. Treat these kinds of women as equals, acknowledge their skills and capabilities, but be sensitive to their female needs. Don’t forget Grandpa’s lessons on chivalry and being a classy gentleman. She’d like you for it. If you can make her feel like a woman, without making her feel inferior (like a lot of other men do) then you are one step closer towards winning her heart.

Don’t let the alpha female scare you. Remember, dating an alpha female should not make you less of a man. Use her strength of character, instead, to inspire you to become an even better man – a man worthy to take a place beside a strong, impressive, independent alpha female.

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Blind Dates Should Not Scare You. Really!

5 Jul

Good day people!  Are you adventurous enough to consider going on a blind date? Yes?  Then read on.

I have gone on a blind date once at the urging of my best friend Karla who just can’t stop gushing about this ‘hot guy’ he met whom she thinks will be just “perfect” for me.  The guy, Jim, had almost everything going for him – looks, intelligence, means, you name it.

Unfortunately, for some reason we never really made a connection.  Oh, the date wasn’t a disaster, we both enjoyed it immensely; however neither of us clicked and we were both aware of it.  Some blind dates lead to forever relationships but my one attempt at it didn’t.

A good majority of the adult population have tried blind dates [9] some time in their lives. Some friend, relative, or acquaintance thought it would be helpful for them to play Cupid and hooked them up with another a friend, family or some random stranger they believed would make a good partner.

More often than not, what makes blind dates a horrifying experience is not wondering how to end up with a relationship afterwards but more of how to survive at least an hour of bluffing and weird, awkward silence with a total stranger. Here’s a useful guide to finding a girlfriend, in case you don’t know what to do after a blind date.

You can say it is as dreaded as a job interview, but I say – it is even more dreadful when you are trying to start an intimate conversation with a girl you barely know anything about. And just in case she turns out to be really hot, it would be handy to know more about how to make a good first impression.

And so to help ease some of your nerves and prepare you for whenever your next blind date happens to be, here’s a classy man’s guide to surviving a blind date:

Don’t expect too much: Psyche yourself not to put much of a big deal on the blind date. It’s just a blind date – if it goes well, lucky for you! If it doesn’t, well at least you have a new friend. The more pressure you put on yourself getting into a blind date, the more nerve-wracking an experience it will be for you and the less you’ll enjoy the ‘ordeal’. And you’re more likely to do things wrong when you’re trying too hard. It’s a blind date – just another blind date. No biggie.

Set for it to be in a place that will make you both comfortable: You get to suggest where the date is going to be, so might as well use this to your advantage. Give at least three places of your choice and let her choose from it. Whichever place she ends up choosing, you know you’re comfortable in it.

Call her on the phone beforehand:  Don’t be totally clueless about your date. Calling her up a day or two before your date will help ease some tensions and get you a little bit acquainted. You’ll get an inkling of what to expect from her. However, I do not recommend checking her out on Facebook – it’s misleading. A phone call is more upfront but still leaves enough mystery to make the blind date interesting.

Have an escape plan ready:  So have a plan ready for when things don’t go right. If things are getting bad for the two of you, at least you know how to make a classy exit without offending her and making yourself look bad.

Relax: She’s more worried about her looks and how she appears to you that she won’t be too bothered about shaking hands with you. Relax because – refer to reason no. 1 – this is not a big deal. You won’t be prosecuted for failing at your blind date. You’ll find yourself enjoying the whole thing more.

Sometimes, we let fear stop us even when there is really nothing to fear. Don’t let your perception or past blind dating experiences haunt you forever – you’ll never know if your next blind date may lead you to your one true love. For more tips on how to ace a blind date, read Cosmo’s article.

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Men Get Jealous Too You Know!

22 May

Greetings dear readers!  This is Lindy reporting back with some tips about handling jealousy.

Jack was just a little bit more jealous than the usual guy, but it still bothered me.  We were high school sweethearts and in high school there’s always lots of competition for guys as well as for gals.  We were also young and not as familiar with dating and relationships as we are now.  Thus his jealousy caused frequent rows that ultimately led to our breakup.  Thinking back though, it should have been easy for both of us to make small adjustments to come to a happy compromise.  I can’t go back to the past, but I can try to help you guys handle a healthy dose of jealousy better.

Women are born jealous and men are born secretive…and jealous, too!

You can keep it to yourself all you want but you cannot eternally deny the fact that you – men – are just as jealous as we women are. And the only difference is that we girls show it (a little too much sometimes, yes) and you men show little to nothing at all.

But you are jealous. Jealousy is part and parcel of the DNA that exists in every human being; it’s called protection over what you consider yours (even though, technically, nobody owns anybody). My dear overly manly man, do not fear or cringe at the slightest signs of jealousy in your system: YOU ARE HUMAN.

The only thing that can make jealousy a problem is how you handle it. You can either flatter her over your “protectiveness” and the fact that you value her so much that you don’t want her near any other guy, or you can drive her insane with it.

So how do you draw the line that separates “sweet jealousy” and “psycho boyfriend”? It all largely depends on how you show it. Dr. Phil can give you sound advice, okay. But these are too general. What you’ll get here are specific, surefire tips to make you feel better. And so here are some tips from one woman to a man on how you testosterone charged being should handle and show your jealousy the “acceptable” way:

Own her: Say, you’re in a bar and you just left to get drinks only to find out that some guy is corralling your girl. You can tell that he was flirting although your jealousy clouds your perspective about how your girl is reacting to his advances. You want nothing more than to punch the douche bag in the face. But of course you can’t do that. She’ll hate you, you’ll go to jail, or maybe he’s just too muscular for you to “manhandle”. So you simply approach your girl and seal it with a kiss. Yes, right in his face, send him the message. The point is you show the other guy who’s who in the situation. Hold her more, hug her, and kiss her more often. Last week my brother sent me this link. Pretty interesting I should say.

Avoid confrontations: Do not cause a scene on the spot or afterwards, and do not be accusatory. Put yourself in her shoes: would you want her to accuse, confront and nag you over someone else flirting with you even when you haven’t even responded to it? Of course not! So try to talk it over as calmly and as sweetly as possible.

Give subtle hints. “Do you like muscled men?” “What do you think about taller men?””Would you like me in red?” “What if I grow a beard?” Chances are, she’ll likely know what you mean and if she’s the nice girlfriend she’s supposed to be, she’d hug you and kiss you and assure you how much better you are compared to every other man you think is flirting with her.

Show her how much better a guy you are: Yes, do as we girls do. Remind her of the good, hot, sexy guy you think she’s forgetting. It always works! And hey, make sure that you never really turn into someone we wish our boyfriends don’t become. Or else…

Jealousy, mishandled, can lead to anger and anger can ruin relationships; so it’s best to stay calm and classy.

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How To Impress At First Sight

14 May

Good day loyal followers!

I received raves about my first post last month about the common mistakes men make. And one reader, a male, said it would be awesome if I would come up with things that would impress ladies upon first meeting. Well, thanks for your email, Jake. This one’s for you!

If I were asked which qualities would most impress me, I would have to say sincerity and perseverance. You can’t go too wrong in choosing to be with a man with these two qualities.  Many people think it takes time determine a person’s sincerity but I beg to disagree.  My now ex named Kurt whom I dated just a few years back had always struck me as sincere.  It may be a combination of the way he spoke and acted or women’s intuition but, in his case at least, my first impression proved to be correct!

First impressions last. And that is especially true about meeting girls. You don’t always (though it’s not impossible at all!) book yourself another chance to make a second impression so you better make good at the first. If you’ve managed to learn seduction techniques, I’m sure you’ll have a good chance of getting a second booking. If you haven’t yet, then you should click here.

The secret to making a good impression is doing something memorable. Ok, no cartwheels at the dinner table but if you manage to get her to react to something unexpected (positively, please), then you’ve got a good head start.

But how do you actually make a good first impression? And how do you make sure you’re doing it naturally? What mistakes should you avoid?  Here are some ways:

The Handshake – kissing her on the cheek when you meet her for the first time is okay if you’re British or something. But not everyone is used to it and a handshake maybe a little bit more appropriate. And a firmer handshake is always better. It gives the woman the sense that you are confident and trustworthy – plus, that is probably the first connection you have so make good. (Plus a firmer grip lets her feel your masculinity).

Spray your perfume at strategic places. Don't bathe yourself with it!

Spray your perfume at strategic places. Don’t bathe yourself with it!

An awesome scent – nothing beats a good smell to impress a woman. Just as a random great smelling passerby can make us turn our heads to follow the smell, a great smelling date is even more awesome. Choose a scent that is not overpowering (call a female friend) but clean and long lasting. And remember, it’s not about how much you apply; it’s about where you spray it on. Spray it on your pulse points – behind your ear, on the neck, and your wrists.

Your first words – ah but it’s natural to get tongue-tied! This is very tricky but if you can find an interesting way to start a conversation you’re halfway there.  And it’s not just about what you are saying; how you say it also matters. Start with a compliment on her dress, or how awesome she looks – avoid sexual overtones though.

Punctuality – pick her up early or get to the appointed place early. You may have to wait a little bit longer, but it will give her the impression that you are excited to meet her and that you are a mature, responsible man who does not make a lady wait. And that, my friend, is the mark of a true gentleman.

Your parting words – like every good story, a good meeting must be adjourned impressively as well. Remember, she is more likely to remember the last things you’ve said and done before you going your separate ways. So make sure you get to make that one last first impression move to book a second one.

Of course these do not discount the fact that you do have to make sense while you’re having a conversation. Make her laugh, make eye contact, be an engaging conversationalist, don’t be rude, don’t forget our etiquette – the usual works. By the way, this is also a good read on how to greet and leave on your first date. Together with the impression-makers, they will help you snag a second date or be in her list of really great men. Good luck!

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Ways Men Screw Up That Important First Date

18 Apr

Hello there reader! First post– I am really excited. It’s hard to choose what to put in here as a first post, but finally managed to write about dating. So.. here goes!

Let’s face it—dating is a cruel and confusing game. I myself have been a victim of horrible first dates– never have I felt awkwardness such in my entire life. I don’t know if a lot of men will chance upon my blog, but I hope they will– because this post is about the common mistakes men make in dating.

I still vividly remember a really horrible dating experience I had when I was just 18.  Straight out of high school I meet this guy Roger, who takes me to probably the tackiest place in all of New Jersey for our first date.  To compound matters, the guy can’t keep his mouth shut and spent a lot of time talking about himself.  To make matters even worse, he can’t take a hint, which means I had only two choices – to walk out on him right then and there or grin and bear it.  I chose the latter simply because I was raised to be respectful, even to people who don’t deserve it.  There never was a second date.

Some men find it hard to go past that first date; what else should you expect if everything went horribly wrong in all directions in the first one. Physical attraction, of course, is always a good thing—but you have to understand that there’s more to dating than meets the eye.

If you want to at least score yourself a fourth or fifth date, you have to avoid making these mistakes that are bound to put an abrupt end to that first date. The thing is– women easily get turned off, according to this Yahoo! article—so make it a point to keep everything under control.

Mistake #1: Being too clingy. You’re a man. The word “clingy” shouldn’t even be in your vocabulary to begin with. When women see that slightest hint of cling in you, prepare for a major mood swing moment, or for her to leave you right there and then. Stop being too possessive – it’s not attractive. Show her that you have your own life.  Keep on doing the things you love, and don’t show her that she is the centre of your universe. I get it, you’re just trying to be sweet and all—but don’t tell me I didn’t warn you if she suddenly leaves you for calling her 25 times in a row just because she wouldn’t pick up the phone on your Wednesday movie night.

Hold Hands

Before you get to this, STOP SCREWING IT UP!

Mistake #2: Arrogance. There’s no need to remind her on every date that you were a high school jock, or a class valedictorian in college. You don’t have to tell her that you make a seven-figure amount yearly, or about that new car you bought for the second time this month. NO. Women love confidence, but hate arrogance to bits. I know you want to show her that you know how to flirt with a girl, but please, do keep it on a lowdown. Stop bragging. Modesty is sexy, trust me on this one.

Mistake #3: Not Following Through. Bottom line is, do not say anything you really don’t mean to do. If you say that you’ll come pick her up after her yoga class, do so. If you tell her that you’ll fix her leaking faucet early in the morning tomorrow before work, set up three alarm clocks on your bedside so you really wake up and fix her leaking faucet the next day. Go the distance, women will appreciate it if you consistently do things as you say—they’d love you more for it.

Dating is a fun game, but you should always prepare yourself for the ride. It’s not always promising, but if you steer clear of these mistakes, you’re on to a good start. Also, improve yourself by learning the latest dating techniques if thing you need to – a good site that we recommend is SonicSeduction.net – go take a look. Good luck!

XOXO
Lindy 🙂

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