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Phone Manners 101 – And Why It’s So Important!

6 Feb

Greetings everyone!

Thank you for the great feedback on my last post. I know you need some help again, so please read this new post. Thanks 🙂

Just because we’re blessed with advanced communication technologies does not mean we can forget about manners!

I saw my friend Irene the other day and we shared coffee and stories at the local Starbucks over at Lakewood Road.  Anyway she seems so frustrated that smart phones seem to have made many men forget common courtesy and good manners.  I added that I sometimes feel the same way about some women as well.  It almost seems like phones embolden people into saying some really impolite things just because the distance means you can’t slap them silly for being so rude.  I am glad we met because phone calls and internet chats cannot really replace old fashioned face-to-face bonding between friends; and also because it made me realize we feel the same way about the need for phone etiquette.

In this day and age, where phones can practically do anything for us, we tend to forget the boundaries that lie between accessibility and courtesy. This is especially true about phone and internet chat courtship! Men call whenever they please, text whatever they want, and just say whatever the hell they like to the ladies who’ve caught their fancy.

That is certainly not gentlemanly! A true gentleman knows the how’s, the why’s, as well as the when’s of proper phone use, especially when it comes to communicating with women. And that includes every form of phone – from its ancient wired great grandfathers to the very modern smart phones.

Phone etiquette tips

Here are some smart and gentlemanly tips on phone etiquette.

Do ask ahead when it is okay to call. Seriously, that’s what makes text more convenient! Unless you’re trying to catch your girlfriend in a lie, you certainly need to have the courtesy to ask the lady you’re courting when it is convenient for her to receive a call from you. She may actually have a real life to consider, you know!

Don’t leave a woman waiting for your call. So you said you’re going to call and you never did. That’s just lame and one of the biggest reasons why women distrust men so much. If you’re not going to call, if you don’t have any plan whatsoever of going on another date with her, don’t make an empty promise to call her.

Don’t text someone else in the middle of a conversation – whether with a lady or not. And unless it’s really, really, really important, don’t forget to excuse yourself. This goes out to doing smart phone stuff (aka social media shenanigans). Guys, check out these online dating tips.

Do keep your phone conversations at a decent hour. So you want to talk to her and you’re missing her badly in the middle of the night. Oh and you just can’t stop the urge to call her just to hear her sweet voice. Well one thing: stop that urge immediately. It would be selfish and rude to actually disturb her restful sleep just because you miss her. Sounds sweet but when you’ve been woken abruptly in the middle of your sleep, nothing’s sweet about it.

Do avoid calling her while she’s at work (or at school if she’s a student – which I hope she isn’t). Respect mans knowing when it is appropriate to call and when it isn’t – when you can disturb her personal affairs. That is why we all go back to Rule No. 1 – always ask if it’s a good time to call.

Don’t flood her phone with texts when she does not text back (or at least does not text back too soon). Oh the impatience of an enamored man! She wouldn’t love getting a thousand texts from you just because she was in the bathroom doing her thing.

Remember these things and make your mothers proud, boys!

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Wining And Dining A Refined And Mature Lady!

13 Jan

Good Day Everyone!

Thank you for visiting thesoilsisters once again! Hope you will like this article like my previous one. Enjoy.

So you’re dating a cougar, or you’ve somehow managed to attract one and you’re going to take her out on a date. Do you know where to take her? Do you have any idea about how to take a cougar on a date?

Women are like fine wine; they just grow better with age.  This kind of reminds me of my own grandmother who never remarried after getting widowed in her early forties.  That doesn’t mean she kept to herself after that – she was actively dating till the day she left this world at the ripe old age of 83.  Her tastes became more refined as she grew older, which showed in the men she dated and the better venues.  She’s one of the most influential women in my life and I can only hope I get to live and enjoy life as she did.  So gents, mature ladies may be harder to please but if you pass muster, they are really fun and interesting to date.  The only greater challenge would be dating an alpha female.

See, gentlemen, cougars have very refined tastes. They’ve been there, they’ve done that, they’ve lived long enough to know games from real stuff and there are a few things that they have yet to try. Yes, they are that difficult to impress.

So you know she likes you using these signs that a woman likes you – an SIBG.com guide and while you’ve impressed her enough to get her to go out with you, that is only the first step of many. You’ll need to do a lot more to be her steady date, each step tougher than the one that came before it. And what actually makes it even tougher is the fact that there are tons of other men falling in line to get her attention too.  So for this post, let’s concentrate on just one aspect – where to take her.

Where to Take Her

So how do you get the ‘Take a Cougar on a Date’ badge? Here are some tips:

Take her on a night cruise. Rent a yacht or someone’s fancy boat, decorate it with lights, flowers, and a fancy table, and have a special dinner served. If space allows, get some musicians to play live background music. If not, your iPod will have to suffice for now.

Take her on a trip. So what if you have to fly 30 minutes on a helicopter just to have dinner? Or drive out to the next city just to give her a taste of some authentic cuisine that she has been craving for days? Or maybe, you can rent an expensive SUV and take her on a road trip for the weekend.  She will never forget it.

Prepare a special rooftop dinner for her. Taking her to the neighborhood French restaurant may not be the best date option for you; she’s probably a regular there. But taking her to a special dinner at the rooftop of that restaurant, with candles and lights, and a breathtaking view of the city under the night sky, that would be really special, not to mention unique.

Prepare a fancy little evening picnic just for the two of you. Find a perfect picnic spot, lay down your most expensive silk sheet on the grass, get the effects – bubbly champagne, awesome dinner, an exquisite bouquet, a rustic little lamp, add some throw pillows and a shawl for her comfort, and prepare to sweep her off her feet with your thoughtfulness.

Take her on a masquerade ball. Cougars, while they maintain their youthful appeal and prefer going out with younger men, are actually looking for men with class and distinctive tastes. That is why taking her to a masquerade ball would make her swoon over you. It’s high class, it’s special, it’s classy, and it takes her back to the old glory days of dating where men acted like gentlemen and women were treated like ladies; plus, it’s the perfect excuse to actually dress up real fancy.

Well, you knew it wasn’t going to be easy or cheap when you choose to go for the cougars. Good luck!

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Will You Succeed At Online Dating?

28 Nov

Hello dear readers.

There was a time about a year back when I got tired of dating.  I don’t really know if it was the quality of my dates or I had become too familiar with the usual date haunts here in the garden state; all I knew was that I needed a breather.  It was while on this sabbatical of sorts when I became curious and gave online dating a try.  I found there were both advantages and disadvantages.  Though I had thousands of men’s profiles at my fingertips, I really didn’t know which, if any, were authentic.  Thus I backed out and just waited out my date-weariness.  I only started dating again three months later.

Are you tired of traditional dating? Has the regular meet-date-date-vanish routine been proving to be a little too much for your taste lately? Are you looking for a way to escape the boring old ways of dating but still open to opportunities for romance?

Maybe you should try online dating! See some effective tips here!

Or maybe you should not.

Online dating gives you the ability to meet more eligible women than you can handle. There are tons of opportunities for romance online but it is, unfortunately, not for everyone. It takes equal portions of dedication to sit for hours in front of your computer screen patiently waiting for friend invites, and equal portions of detachment and better judgment when the person on the other end of the line seems too good to be true. As in traditional face-to-face dating, that may exactly be what she is: too good to be true.

Online Dating Tips

So, is online dating really for you? It could be worth a try or it could not be worth your time at all. Find out if you are suited for the virtual dating realm, here are the guides:

If you are comfortable about talking to a woman you don’t see and still enjoy a lively conversation: Some people can’t communicate unless a real live human person is in front of them.  Some people need to actually feel their conversation partner’s physical presence to make it real. If you can enjoy conversing with a person you don’t see in real time perhaps you can give online dating a try.

If you are fine with long distance relationships: Online dating brings the romance opportunities on a global scale. If you are open to dating a woman who’s from Timbuktu even when you’re in downtown LA, and up for innovative online “dates”, then you certainly have a bright future in the world of online romance.

If you don’t mind sitting on the computer for several hours talking with different women at the same time, most of whom you know only by name, age, location, and a photo (sometimes, they even use avatars): It can be frustrating, if you’re really not into that kind of thing. Inadequate information about people you meet online make them seem less than real – but if you’re comfortable with that then maybe online dating may be your thing.

If you can to stop yourself from falling for someone too soon: Dating is hard enough in the real world; it is much more difficult online. It is very easy to make stuff up online; you can be a rocket scientist on your online profile and she can assume the persona of a Victoria’s Secret angel who had to be cut off from the group over a sprained ankle. So can people easily make you fall for them and make you believe in undying love when in reality, they are just faking it.

If you know how to protect yourself from online crooks: This is basic but very essential. You can pass the first four standards but if you fail on this area, you had better get your hands off the online dating world mister.

So, is online dating for you?

Surely, these are the ways to success on Online Dating! After this, know how to make a girl think about you (tips on SIBG.com).

I can give you more dating and relationships tips.  Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

A Beauty Routine For Men? Why Not?

9 Oct

Good day beautiful people!  Do you all think that vanity is reserved for women?  That may not hold true anymore!

All people have at least a tiny bit of vanity; they may be proud of their hair, their figure (or muscles in the case of guys), their eyes.  As a woman it’s natural for me to highlight my best features and try to mask what may be seen as physical imperfections.  This has caused a bit of a problem with my boyfriend who prefers to see the raw ‘me’ instead of the made-up version.  He adoringly says that I should not mess with perfection.  But as a woman, I can’t help but try to improve upon my God-given physical attributes.  We have since reached a happy compromise where I don’t mess too much with what he calls perfection – just enough to satisfy my feminine urges.  But these days men are getting more vain than ever before.

Gone are the days when only the girls define beauty. And gone are the days when only the ladies are allowed to try out practices and rituals that improve the outward look. These days, it is perfectly acceptable to see gentlemen who dab a little moisturizer and spend a little more time on getting their hair done, this is a sure way on to how to get an Asian girl. You don’t even have to be a Hollywood actor, a model or some popular politician to have an excuse to have your very own beauty ritual or two.

For the uninitiated, these manly regimens go beyond the usual deodorant-perfume. These are things that have you going out of your usual way to not only look good but to also make yourself feel good. See this guide for natural healthy beauty products.

Beauty Tips for Men

If you’re not at it yet, or if you are just starting to accept the concept of starting a “beauty” ritual, here are some tips:

Cleanse-tone-moisturize your face: These are the basics. It might sound a little too intimidating for the newbie, but trust me, it’s no rocket science. Why do you need to do this? Simple: to keep your face clean and healthy. See, cleansing your face is not just for us women who put on too many layers of makeup. It’s for everyone who gets exposed to elements every single day – pollution, dust, what-have-you. Toning is to keep the skin tone even; nothing is more distracting and disconcerting than uneven facial skin tone. And of course you need to moisturize. Not only is dry skin unattractive and unhealthy-looking; it is also more prone to breakouts.

Use hand lotion: No girl can resist locking fingers with a guy with soft hands. See, dry and callous hands are no longer the only measure of manliness, especially when the non-athletic men of this generation can never achieve that from sitting all day in front of a computer. To make it a little bit more useful, hand lotions now come with antibacterial features.

Use foot lotion: Just the same as soft hands are irresistible, hard, cracked and dry heels are as horrible. So dab on some foot lotion to improve that. A foot spa session every two weeks could also do wonders for your feet so go ahead and make that bi-weekly trip.

Apply lip balm: This may not be the manliest thing on the planet but it does have its benefits. The help maintain a pair of deliciously kissable lips – the kind that girls dig. Thankfully, they come in mini-canister types and not just the stick kind. And there are varieties and brands that are unscented and unflavored so you don’t have to worry about tasting like her favorite berries when you smooch.

Use body scrub occasionally: Before you give me that weird look, body scrub is actually good for you. Better than you can imagine. Body scrubs, usually offered at spas and wellness centers, help your skin exfoliate bringing out a cleaner, newer, healthier skin. On top of that, body scrubs are very relaxing; it feels just like getting some good ol’ massage.

Come on, just because we girls do it more does not mean you can’t do it! Caring for your body and your looks can be a manly thing too. So go ahead and try any of these tips and try to avoid the usual mistakes men make!

If you need anything else, email me at help@thesoilsisters.com. Good day!

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Are You Meant For Each Other? How To Tell.

7 Oct

Hello lovers!

In dating and relationships, attraction is the easy part, getting him or her to like you back is a bit harder, but building a stable relationship is by far the hardest.  In my case, all the previous relationships I’ve had were led to a breakup by compatibility issues.  Though I try to be as discerning as I can before committing myself, there are still issues that don’t come out till you get really cozy with each other.  No one is perfect, and I have minor issues with my boyfriend’s snoring, but that is something I can live with.  When you encounter big issues, such as dishonesty or worse cheating, then you can say you and your partner cannot be considered compatible; and that will make breakup inevitable.

What do you do after making her like you (with the help of SIBG.com guide to get a woman to like you back)? What to do to sustain the good relationship you started with her?

Attraction, passion, and compatibility are probably the three most important and most basic ingredients that make a good, solid start for a relationship. Of the three, compatibility is practically the only one that you get the chance to test. After all, attraction draws you to that person right at the beginning. Passion keeps the fire burning even when attraction wanes out of familiarity but compatibility makes one stick there – effortlessly.

There are many ways to test compatibility in a relationship. In fact, if you use that word to search on Google, you’d get tens of thousands of free ‘love tests’ and compatibility tests. But what does compatibility mean? Do loving to eat the same thing, or loving the same music, or maybe even enjoying the same stuff together make you compatible? Yes, but not entirely.

Compatibility is sharing the same amount of enjoyment for the same things but it’s not all that; compatibility also requires knowing how to appreciate and enjoy what the other person loves doing. It’s also about loving two different things that complement each other; like a singer and a dancer, or a photographer and a model. Compatibility makes company with each other enjoyable even in the long run. That is why it makes for a perfect ingredient for a relationship, without which a relationship will find it hard to thrive.

Are you compatible?

How do you test your compatibility? How do you make sure that your prospective ladylove is someone you’re compatible with? Here are 5 easy ways to test compatibility (believe me, they are so easy you’d be surprised to know you have already been doing it ever since you started dating):

Plan a date. Get date suggestions from her and list down your own suggestions too. Her areas of interest will be revealed by her choices and yours to her. Ask her especially if your Dating an Alpha Female.  Try to see if each other’s interests spark you both.

Spend a day together without prior plans. A random date is one of the most effective ways to test compatibility. Would you survive – comfortably – if you spent an entire day without any planned activity?

Spend your day the way she does. Discover her persona by living her life for a day. It would surprise you to know how her mundane, ordinary day could actually tell how well you would be if you were a couple. Taking turns would be really healthy.

Answer a ‘slam book’ questionnaire. It is not as immature as it seems, trust me. Favorite food, music, book, blah blahblah – the list goes on and on and this is an outright shameless way to ask your date/prospective girlfriend if you are compatible or not.

Spend time in conversations. Conversations offer the best ways to check for compatibility. Compatibility is when you don’t always agree on a topic that neither of you planned to talk about but still manage to enjoy an effortless conversation – one that does not have a beginning or an end, and no awkward moments in between.

Also, take this test from cosmopolitan.com.

Make your tests fun and light. And more importantly, don’t let the result dictate how you run your relationship. Email me for further questions at lindy@thesoilsisters.com. Good luck!

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Hollywood Types Women Don’t Want Their Boyfriends To Emulate

20 Aug

Greetings boys and girls!

Almost every person I know has dreamed of being in a relationship with a big Hollywood star.  That includes me.  I had the wildest crush for Tom Cruise for a long time.  But the dream passed and I went on to date some really wonderful men.  I realized that not all big Hollywood stars can be describes as dreamboats, some are a girl’s worst nightmare as a boyfriend.

Every girl has her nightmares about relationships and the kind of guys their boyfriends may turn out to be. There’s the generic cheating boyfriend, the insensitive one, the flirt, the I-couldn’t-care-less-about-you boyfriend, the serial dater, and the I-love-myself-more-than-you among others.

There are a lot of mistakes men make, which we should be mindful of.

There are types of men whom we wish our boyfriends don’t become.  And these Hollywood celebs turn out to be the human form of some of these nightmares!

There are types of men whom we wish our boyfriends don't become.

There are types of men whom we wish our boyfriends don’t become.

Here’s my list of Hollywood men girls never want their dates/boyfriends to become. Boys, take your cue and don’t be like them!

Chris Brown – Does this need any more explaining to do? He will beat girls, break her nose and her heart, and, well, will call her a B**** in public. I’ll let my momma break a guy’s jaw if someone does even half what he did to RiRi! It always starts with verbal abuse. One slip, they apologize and then they do it again. If you’re a guy and you notice yourself starting to become abusive, seek professional counselling. That’s an anger management problem right there.

Joe Jonas – He allegedly broke up with Taylor Swift over the phone. That’s just rude and unforgivable. Seriously, he deserved whatever breakup song Taylor made for him. And there were rumors that he asked his dad to break up with Demi Lovato on his behalf. Whoa! Beats me! Guys, man up to your girl if you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore. Nobody wants to be the last one to know they’re single. Learn how to communicate PROPERLY, even in the bad times. We will appreciate you for it.

John Mayer – I have to admit I fell for the way he writes his songs (I can’t possibly find a creature that didn’t like ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’) but he’s a douche boyfriend in the purest form. He talks too much to the press, does not have good things to say about his exes even in public and he cheats on them too! Bah, the worst form of kiss and tell man! A classy man will never diss a lady no matter how bad their relationship ended. A gentleman, publicly or privately, will always be nice to a woman whether he is dating her or not. In fairness to him though, he admitted to being a jerk.

Charlie Sheen – you can never be too sure if you’re talking to him or to the crack. Enough said. Don’t even think about starting it. It’s something that will take over your life, your relationships, and your job. If you have been using it, get professional help as soon as possible.

George Clooney – Why is he still single? And how often does he change his trophy girlfriend in a year? This type consists of the sweet, debonair men who are almost always single even when they’re always seen in the company of many different and beautiful women.

Guys, learn how to commit or end it early on. Be honest about the relationship – about what you’re looking for, what you’re not looking for and what you can give. Don’t leave a woman hanging on to the hope that your relationship is going further than the red carpet.

Girls, let us be careful when choosing. Not all attractive men are nice men. I was thankful when a friend forwarded me this article yesterday. So now I know that some men just use tactics just to attract us. Be warned!

Girls should avoid them (or at least, avoid falling for them in the case of Good Guy George Clooney), and men should learn from their mistakes and bad attitudes.

This post tells you what girls don’t want their boyfriends to become.  Do you want to know what women want their boyfriends to be? Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

Friends You Should Avoid Meeting Your Girlfriend

31 Jul

Hello online friends.  I hope you continue to find my posts useful!

There was a time when I was in high school here in New Jersey, when I fell for a friend’s ex.  They had been separated almost half a year before the guy and I started seeing each other so there were no issues about cheating or back stabbing.  Young as we were then, the brief relationship still managed to result in a lot of very awkward moments which strained our friendship almost to the breaking point.  I guess we all have to be careful with our friends’ partners and former partners.

They say friends are families that we get to choose, that is why we share certain things and a special kind of bond with them that we would have with some blood relatives. We trust them, we love them to a certain degree, and we are more than happy for them to be friends with our significant others.

In an old article, I stressed the importance of having your girlfriend meet your guy buddies. And that makes sense, actually. When your girl knows who you go out with and what you guys do together, she is more at ease. She would also have a certain sense of peace knowing that because your guy friends are technically her friends too, they will not lead you to temptation.

But there are certain guy friends that are better off away from your girlfriend’s friends list. In fact, they’re best left in the acquaintance arena and locked there forever – or at least until they are ‘safe’ enough to be friends.

Here are the 5 guy friends that should never be friends with your girlfriend:

The player: If you know how to be an amazing flirt with girls, he’s the one you go to. But friends with your girl? No, I am not saying your player friend will stab your back, or that your girlfriend will fall for his seductive antics. All I’m saying is there is reason for what I call preventive maintenance. Though I am not generalizing, your player friends can hurt your relationship in two possible ways: (1) your girlfriend will never be at ease knowing all the ‘player’ stories your friend will share with her, and (2) he actually might end up seducing your girlfriend. On that latter part, if you girlfriend says ‘No’, your friendship is ruined and, well, if your girlfriend says yes to his advances – do I really need to elaborate on that?

The bestfrienemy: Ah but of course. We all have that one person that we are blood brothers with one moment and mortal enemies the next. He’s the type of guy in your group who would be happy to see you fail. If anything goes wrong, if you and your girlfriend fight or reach the brink of breakup and you’re looking to your friends for support and backup, trust that this guy won’t have your back. Na-ah. Oh but he’ll buy you a bottle or two of beer if you two breakup.

The Jealous One: Well, he’s selfish and jealous and has never been much of a true friend. And he has always had this secret contempt for you and he’s happy when you fail. He won’t even offer you beer when you’re sad! Careful with this guy, he will try to break you and GF up because he either wants you miserable, or wants her for himself. Or both.

The handsome one: If you want your girlfriend’s attention all on you, better keep her off the looker in your circle. Their becoming buddies may not be the best thing because she might start noticing this guy more than you and comparisons may arise. Even if he’s truly innocent and does not like your girlfriend, you’d still lose your girlfriend when she ends up falling for him.

The clingy best friend: Not all of your friends are a threat to you. Some are a threat to your girlfriend. There will always be that one friend who’s so protective and so possessive of you that he definitely would not want you to be with anyone else because he wants you all for himself. He’s not necessarily gay. He’s just clingy and probably single.

It’s okay for her to be friends with your friends, but there should always be boundaries.  It would also be great if you know how to keep your girlfriend from cheating. Good luck.

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Do You Dare Date An Alpha Female?

8 Jul

Hi guys!  Lindy’s back!

I have always been attractive to the silent and strong types.  While I am no slouch myself, I would not go as far as to claim that I’m an alpha female.  But in back when I was taking a few semesters at Rutgers, I had a friend who was.  Lily, funny name for an alpha female, intimidated most men.  A lot of those who gathered enough courage to try and ask her out failed her standards.  But she had a stable relationship with an equally impressive male by the name of John.  Last I heard they were married with two beautiful children.  Are you strong enough to date an alpha female?

Tough, feisty, never backs down on anybody, opinionated, confident, leader of the pack – these are just brief and concise definitions of what alpha females are. They can turn heads wherever they go, they can command anybody’s attention, and they can suck in all the space in a room.

And you’re going out on a date with her? – Consider it a blessing and a curse at the same time.

These alpha females are so strong and so sure of themselves that as a guy, it may be a hard fit to get in a relationship with her. She is so satisfied with herself that a relationship – the security and comforts of it – could as well be an option and not a necessity.

The thing is, alpha females are so attractive. But what makes them attractive is the exact same thing that makes them very elusive to the ordinary men out there. To date an alpha female, you must be an alpha male yourself!

Here are some tips on how to catch an alpha female’s interests on a date:

The first secret is to not be intimidated. Sure they’re smart, witty, outstanding, and irresistible, and they could easily transform the confident jock in you into a tongue-tied little dork. But hey, remember that you are an outstanding male too! Just to be sure, read this guide on how to ask a woman out.  You have your own set of achievements and characteristics that make you amazing, awesome, fun, and interesting and it would be cheating her and yourself if you don’t give her a chance to see it! If you show her that you’re scared and intimidated, and that she can twirl you around her fingers easily, then she’ll lose interest right at the first minute.

Look her in the eye. Show her that you are on matching levels. Show her that you are as strong and smart and awesome as she is. Show her what makes you interesting. Most, if not all alpha females, use conversations to gauge their dates. Be sensible and witty and insert a bit of humor now and then. Make sure you don’t make common men mistakes. Don’t let her drive the conversation – take the driver’s seat and don’t let her take control. That is not, however, being a selfish dictator; you got to let her speak too. You need to listen too, you know. Just as long as you don’t let her take the conversation where she wants it, you’re good to go.

Be a sensitive and genuinely nice guy. They’re only alpha females, not man haters. Treat these kinds of women as equals, acknowledge their skills and capabilities, but be sensitive to their female needs. Don’t forget Grandpa’s lessons on chivalry and being a classy gentleman. She’d like you for it. If you can make her feel like a woman, without making her feel inferior (like a lot of other men do) then you are one step closer towards winning her heart.

Don’t let the alpha female scare you. Remember, dating an alpha female should not make you less of a man. Use her strength of character, instead, to inspire you to become an even better man – a man worthy to take a place beside a strong, impressive, independent alpha female.

Give me a reason to send lots of dating and relationships advice straight to your mailbox.  Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

Blind Dates Should Not Scare You. Really!

5 Jul

Good day people!  Are you adventurous enough to consider going on a blind date? Yes?  Then read on.

I have gone on a blind date once at the urging of my best friend Karla who just can’t stop gushing about this ‘hot guy’ he met whom she thinks will be just “perfect” for me.  The guy, Jim, had almost everything going for him – looks, intelligence, means, you name it.

Unfortunately, for some reason we never really made a connection.  Oh, the date wasn’t a disaster, we both enjoyed it immensely; however neither of us clicked and we were both aware of it.  Some blind dates lead to forever relationships but my one attempt at it didn’t.

A good majority of the adult population have tried blind dates [9] some time in their lives. Some friend, relative, or acquaintance thought it would be helpful for them to play Cupid and hooked them up with another a friend, family or some random stranger they believed would make a good partner.

More often than not, what makes blind dates a horrifying experience is not wondering how to end up with a relationship afterwards but more of how to survive at least an hour of bluffing and weird, awkward silence with a total stranger. Here’s a useful guide to finding a girlfriend, in case you don’t know what to do after a blind date.

You can say it is as dreaded as a job interview, but I say – it is even more dreadful when you are trying to start an intimate conversation with a girl you barely know anything about. And just in case she turns out to be really hot, it would be handy to know more about how to make a good first impression.

And so to help ease some of your nerves and prepare you for whenever your next blind date happens to be, here’s a classy man’s guide to surviving a blind date:

Don’t expect too much: Psyche yourself not to put much of a big deal on the blind date. It’s just a blind date – if it goes well, lucky for you! If it doesn’t, well at least you have a new friend. The more pressure you put on yourself getting into a blind date, the more nerve-wracking an experience it will be for you and the less you’ll enjoy the ‘ordeal’. And you’re more likely to do things wrong when you’re trying too hard. It’s a blind date – just another blind date. No biggie.

Set for it to be in a place that will make you both comfortable: You get to suggest where the date is going to be, so might as well use this to your advantage. Give at least three places of your choice and let her choose from it. Whichever place she ends up choosing, you know you’re comfortable in it.

Call her on the phone beforehand:  Don’t be totally clueless about your date. Calling her up a day or two before your date will help ease some tensions and get you a little bit acquainted. You’ll get an inkling of what to expect from her. However, I do not recommend checking her out on Facebook – it’s misleading. A phone call is more upfront but still leaves enough mystery to make the blind date interesting.

Have an escape plan ready:  So have a plan ready for when things don’t go right. If things are getting bad for the two of you, at least you know how to make a classy exit without offending her and making yourself look bad.

Relax: She’s more worried about her looks and how she appears to you that she won’t be too bothered about shaking hands with you. Relax because – refer to reason no. 1 – this is not a big deal. You won’t be prosecuted for failing at your blind date. You’ll find yourself enjoying the whole thing more.

Sometimes, we let fear stop us even when there is really nothing to fear. Don’t let your perception or past blind dating experiences haunt you forever – you’ll never know if your next blind date may lead you to your one true love. For more tips on how to ace a blind date, read Cosmo’s article.

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Men Get Jealous Too You Know!

22 May

Greetings dear readers!  This is Lindy reporting back with some tips about handling jealousy.

Jack was just a little bit more jealous than the usual guy, but it still bothered me.  We were high school sweethearts and in high school there’s always lots of competition for guys as well as for gals.  We were also young and not as familiar with dating and relationships as we are now.  Thus his jealousy caused frequent rows that ultimately led to our breakup.  Thinking back though, it should have been easy for both of us to make small adjustments to come to a happy compromise.  I can’t go back to the past, but I can try to help you guys handle a healthy dose of jealousy better.

Women are born jealous and men are born secretive…and jealous, too!

You can keep it to yourself all you want but you cannot eternally deny the fact that you – men – are just as jealous as we women are. And the only difference is that we girls show it (a little too much sometimes, yes) and you men show little to nothing at all.

But you are jealous. Jealousy is part and parcel of the DNA that exists in every human being; it’s called protection over what you consider yours (even though, technically, nobody owns anybody). My dear overly manly man, do not fear or cringe at the slightest signs of jealousy in your system: YOU ARE HUMAN.

The only thing that can make jealousy a problem is how you handle it. You can either flatter her over your “protectiveness” and the fact that you value her so much that you don’t want her near any other guy, or you can drive her insane with it.

So how do you draw the line that separates “sweet jealousy” and “psycho boyfriend”? It all largely depends on how you show it. Dr. Phil can give you sound advice, okay. But these are too general. What you’ll get here are specific, surefire tips to make you feel better. And so here are some tips from one woman to a man on how you testosterone charged being should handle and show your jealousy the “acceptable” way:

Own her: Say, you’re in a bar and you just left to get drinks only to find out that some guy is corralling your girl. You can tell that he was flirting although your jealousy clouds your perspective about how your girl is reacting to his advances. You want nothing more than to punch the douche bag in the face. But of course you can’t do that. She’ll hate you, you’ll go to jail, or maybe he’s just too muscular for you to “manhandle”. So you simply approach your girl and seal it with a kiss. Yes, right in his face, send him the message. The point is you show the other guy who’s who in the situation. Hold her more, hug her, and kiss her more often. Last week my brother sent me this link. Pretty interesting I should say.

Avoid confrontations: Do not cause a scene on the spot or afterwards, and do not be accusatory. Put yourself in her shoes: would you want her to accuse, confront and nag you over someone else flirting with you even when you haven’t even responded to it? Of course not! So try to talk it over as calmly and as sweetly as possible.

Give subtle hints. “Do you like muscled men?” “What do you think about taller men?””Would you like me in red?” “What if I grow a beard?” Chances are, she’ll likely know what you mean and if she’s the nice girlfriend she’s supposed to be, she’d hug you and kiss you and assure you how much better you are compared to every other man you think is flirting with her.

Show her how much better a guy you are: Yes, do as we girls do. Remind her of the good, hot, sexy guy you think she’s forgetting. It always works! And hey, make sure that you never really turn into someone we wish our boyfriends don’t become. Or else…

Jealousy, mishandled, can lead to anger and anger can ruin relationships; so it’s best to stay calm and classy.

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