Ways Men Screw Up That Important First Date

18 Apr

Hello there reader! First post– I am really excited. It’s hard to choose what to put in here as a first post, but finally managed to write about dating. So.. here goes!

Let’s face it—dating is a cruel and confusing game. I myself have been a victim of horrible first dates– never have I felt awkwardness such in my entire life. I don’t know if a lot of men will chance upon my blog, but I hope they will– because this post is about the common mistakes men make in dating.

I still vividly remember a really horrible dating experience I had when I was just 18.  Straight out of high school I meet this guy Roger, who takes me to probably the tackiest place in all of New Jersey for our first date.  To compound matters, the guy can’t keep his mouth shut and spent a lot of time talking about himself.  To make matters even worse, he can’t take a hint, which means I had only two choices – to walk out on him right then and there or grin and bear it.  I chose the latter simply because I was raised to be respectful, even to people who don’t deserve it.  There never was a second date.

Some men find it hard to go past that first date; what else should you expect if everything went horribly wrong in all directions in the first one. Physical attraction, of course, is always a good thing—but you have to understand that there’s more to dating than meets the eye.

If you want to at least score yourself a fourth or fifth date, you have to avoid making these mistakes that are bound to put an abrupt end to that first date. The thing is– women easily get turned off, according to this Yahoo! article—so make it a point to keep everything under control.

Mistake #1: Being too clingy. You’re a man. The word “clingy” shouldn’t even be in your vocabulary to begin with. When women see that slightest hint of cling in you, prepare for a major mood swing moment, or for her to leave you right there and then. Stop being too possessive – it’s not attractive. Show her that you have your own life.  Keep on doing the things you love, and don’t show her that she is the centre of your universe. I get it, you’re just trying to be sweet and all—but don’t tell me I didn’t warn you if she suddenly leaves you for calling her 25 times in a row just because she wouldn’t pick up the phone on your Wednesday movie night.

Hold Hands

Before you get to this, STOP SCREWING IT UP!

Mistake #2: Arrogance. There’s no need to remind her on every date that you were a high school jock, or a class valedictorian in college. You don’t have to tell her that you make a seven-figure amount yearly, or about that new car you bought for the second time this month. NO. Women love confidence, but hate arrogance to bits. I know you want to show her that you know how to flirt with a girl, but please, do keep it on a lowdown. Stop bragging. Modesty is sexy, trust me on this one.

Mistake #3: Not Following Through. Bottom line is, do not say anything you really don’t mean to do. If you say that you’ll come pick her up after her yoga class, do so. If you tell her that you’ll fix her leaking faucet early in the morning tomorrow before work, set up three alarm clocks on your bedside so you really wake up and fix her leaking faucet the next day. Go the distance, women will appreciate it if you consistently do things as you say—they’d love you more for it.

Dating is a fun game, but you should always prepare yourself for the ride. It’s not always promising, but if you steer clear of these mistakes, you’re on to a good start. Also, improve yourself by learning the latest dating techniques if thing you need to – a good site that we recommend is SonicSeduction.net – go take a look. Good luck!

XOXO
Lindy :)

If you’re interested in receiving more dating and relationships tips, sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

What Makes Her Hesitate To Move In With You

23 Mar

Good day all!

Do you know what scares me most about relationships?  It is taking it to a higher level of commitment.  Moving in together and officially calling ourselves an item have always been hard.  It is not decision to take lightly.  My boyfriend almost gave up on our relationship because he thought that I was waiting too long; that I don’t seem to be willing to take a chance on him.  But I’ve always done my due diligence before making such a big decision.  That we remain together after a couple of years is testament to the effectiveness of waiting for just the right moment to commit to each other.

So you have been going out for some time now and you want to stick with her. You feel like this is going to be for the long term and that she feels the same way you do, you also tested some easy ways to test compatibility.

But for some weird, totally unfathomable reason, she seems to have changed her mind about you and about commitment. You end up wondering whether you’ve done something to make her change her mind.  Commitment is the goal of most every relationship. People get into relationships for the security and comfort of it; of knowing that they will always have someone to “belong” to, someone who “belongs” to them, whose love they do not have to share with anyone else, and to actually have someone who will stay for the long term.

Why she will turn you down

Maybe you forgot how to mess with a woman’s mind but there really are things that make people turn away from committing to you (or to anyone else). Here are some; check if any of these applies to you:

Maybe she thinks you are not serious enough about commitment: Some girls run away before they get hurt. If you seem like the type who would not take her and your relationship with her seriously, and that you are a potentially dangerous man who could wound her heart, she’ll walk away before you get the chance to get too close for comfort; yes, even if you’re totally into her and you’re ready to give up your single guy rights for her. How do you correct this? Change the way she sees you; show her that you can be loyal and that you can stick to one woman.

Pressure: Some people work well under pressure, others explode and get blown away – and not in a very good way. Don’t put anyone, especially a lady, under pressure. It might scare her away. It makes relationships and commitments seem like an ordeal, something that is so big and scary that she needs to be pinned to the wall for an answer. The answer will be half-hearted so think twice before pressuring the living hell out of her. Wait until she’s good and ready or you risk her off if you can’t wait.

Maybe you have been very domineering. As mentioned earlier, some women run off before things get too difficult to run away from. If you’re the guy who chokes, smothers, and makes her feel inferior, she will definitely say no to the idea of being tied down to you in a committed relationship. If being with you means she’d losing a big part of herself, she’s likely to pack her bags and leave before she gets caught in up in a trap of a relationship.

You can also view this article from GQ.

Asking for an upgrade in the commitment to a relationship, after some time of going out and getting to know each other, is usually left to the guy. It is up to you to show her that staying together with you for the long haul is a good idea.  But if everything didn’t work out well, read this tips.

Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

Phone Manners 101 – And Why It’s So Important!

6 Feb

Greetings everyone!

Thank you for the great feedback on my last post. I know you need some help again, so please read this new post. Thanks :)

Just because we’re blessed with advanced communication technologies does not mean we can forget about manners!

I saw my friend Irene the other day and we shared coffee and stories at the local Starbucks over at Lakewood Road.  Anyway she seems so frustrated that smart phones seem to have made many men forget common courtesy and good manners.  I added that I sometimes feel the same way about some women as well.  It almost seems like phones embolden people into saying some really impolite things just because the distance means you can’t slap them silly for being so rude.  I am glad we met because phone calls and internet chats cannot really replace old fashioned face-to-face bonding between friends; and also because it made me realize we feel the same way about the need for phone etiquette.

In this day and age, where phones can practically do anything for us, we tend to forget the boundaries that lie between accessibility and courtesy. This is especially true about phone and internet chat courtship! Men call whenever they please, text whatever they want, and just say whatever the hell they like to the ladies who’ve caught their fancy.

That is certainly not gentlemanly! A true gentleman knows the how’s, the why’s, as well as the when’s of proper phone use, especially when it comes to communicating with women. And that includes every form of phone – from its ancient wired great grandfathers to the very modern smart phones.

Phone etiquette tips

Here are some smart and gentlemanly tips on phone etiquette.

Do ask ahead when it is okay to call. Seriously, that’s what makes text more convenient! Unless you’re trying to catch your girlfriend in a lie, you certainly need to have the courtesy to ask the lady you’re courting when it is convenient for her to receive a call from you. She may actually have a real life to consider, you know!

Don’t leave a woman waiting for your call. So you said you’re going to call and you never did. That’s just lame and one of the biggest reasons why women distrust men so much. If you’re not going to call, if you don’t have any plan whatsoever of going on another date with her, don’t make an empty promise to call her.

Don’t text someone else in the middle of a conversation – whether with a lady or not. And unless it’s really, really, really important, don’t forget to excuse yourself. This goes out to doing smart phone stuff (aka social media shenanigans). Guys, check out these online dating tips.

Do keep your phone conversations at a decent hour. So you want to talk to her and you’re missing her badly in the middle of the night. Oh and you just can’t stop the urge to call her just to hear her sweet voice. Well one thing: stop that urge immediately. It would be selfish and rude to actually disturb her restful sleep just because you miss her. Sounds sweet but when you’ve been woken abruptly in the middle of your sleep, nothing’s sweet about it.

Do avoid calling her while she’s at work (or at school if she’s a student – which I hope she isn’t). Respect mans knowing when it is appropriate to call and when it isn’t – when you can disturb her personal affairs. That is why we all go back to Rule No. 1 – always ask if it’s a good time to call.

Don’t flood her phone with texts when she does not text back (or at least does not text back too soon). Oh the impatience of an enamored man! She wouldn’t love getting a thousand texts from you just because she was in the bathroom doing her thing.

Remember these things and make your mothers proud, boys!

If you can use more dating tips, sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

Wining And Dining A Refined And Mature Lady!

13 Jan

Good Day Everyone!

Thank you for visiting thesoilsisters once again! Hope you will like this article like my previous one. Enjoy.

So you’re dating a cougar, or you’ve somehow managed to attract one and you’re going to take her out on a date. Do you know where to take her? Do you have any idea about how to take a cougar on a date?

Women are like fine wine; they just grow better with age.  This kind of reminds me of my own grandmother who never remarried after getting widowed in her early forties.  That doesn’t mean she kept to herself after that – she was actively dating till the day she left this world at the ripe old age of 83.  Her tastes became more refined as she grew older, which showed in the men she dated and the better venues.  She’s one of the most influential women in my life and I can only hope I get to live and enjoy life as she did.  So gents, mature ladies may be harder to please but if you pass muster, they are really fun and interesting to date.  The only greater challenge would be dating an alpha female.

See, gentlemen, cougars have very refined tastes. They’ve been there, they’ve done that, they’ve lived long enough to know games from real stuff and there are a few things that they have yet to try. Yes, they are that difficult to impress.

So you know she likes you using these signs that a woman likes you – an SIBG.com guide and while you’ve impressed her enough to get her to go out with you, that is only the first step of many. You’ll need to do a lot more to be her steady date, each step tougher than the one that came before it. And what actually makes it even tougher is the fact that there are tons of other men falling in line to get her attention too.  So for this post, let’s concentrate on just one aspect – where to take her.

Where to Take Her

So how do you get the ‘Take a Cougar on a Date’ badge? Here are some tips:

Take her on a night cruise. Rent a yacht or someone’s fancy boat, decorate it with lights, flowers, and a fancy table, and have a special dinner served. If space allows, get some musicians to play live background music. If not, your iPod will have to suffice for now.

Take her on a trip. So what if you have to fly 30 minutes on a helicopter just to have dinner? Or drive out to the next city just to give her a taste of some authentic cuisine that she has been craving for days? Or maybe, you can rent an expensive SUV and take her on a road trip for the weekend.  She will never forget it.

Prepare a special rooftop dinner for her. Taking her to the neighborhood French restaurant may not be the best date option for you; she’s probably a regular there. But taking her to a special dinner at the rooftop of that restaurant, with candles and lights, and a breathtaking view of the city under the night sky, that would be really special, not to mention unique.

Prepare a fancy little evening picnic just for the two of you. Find a perfect picnic spot, lay down your most expensive silk sheet on the grass, get the effects – bubbly champagne, awesome dinner, an exquisite bouquet, a rustic little lamp, add some throw pillows and a shawl for her comfort, and prepare to sweep her off her feet with your thoughtfulness.

Take her on a masquerade ball. Cougars, while they maintain their youthful appeal and prefer going out with younger men, are actually looking for men with class and distinctive tastes. That is why taking her to a masquerade ball would make her swoon over you. It’s high class, it’s special, it’s classy, and it takes her back to the old glory days of dating where men acted like gentlemen and women were treated like ladies; plus, it’s the perfect excuse to actually dress up real fancy.

Well, you knew it wasn’t going to be easy or cheap when you choose to go for the cougars. Good luck!

To get more dating tips delivered to your mailbox, sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

So Your Ex Wants You Back! What Do You Do Now?

12 Dec

Greetings fellows, and thanks for visiting my site!

What else can be more difficult, challenging and frustrating than moving on from a serious relationship? It has to be this: when you’ve already convinced yourself that you have actually and painstakingly fully moved on from her and then she shows up telling you that she wants you back.

Now how is that for a bombshell, huh? Just when you thought everything about you is fine and things have never been more perfect, your dearest darling of an ex comes along with a bagful of bad past heartbreaks and tells you that she wants to open all that again with you.

This, of course, torments you no end.  Things You Should Never Say About Your Ex.

Let me give you one girl’s perspective – mine.  I have never ever asked someone I have broken up with for reconciliation.  Pride has nothing to do with it.  And yes, getting back together is tempting even to me.  However, I don’t take the decision to breakup lightly.  But when every effort to salvage a relationship fails, then a breakup becomes inevitable.  A couple of years ago, after I broke up with Danny, I was down in the dumps and visiting the local bars here in Trenton, New Jersey much more frequently.  But when he asked for another chance to try to revive our relationship, I said no. I see no reason to revisit past hurts in an effort that is most likely to fail anyway.  I’m not saying all reconciliation attempts fail – what I’m saying is that there is very little chance to succeed.

You begin to think about one thing after another, weighing things, imagining stuff, creating doom scenarios in your head and reliving each and every part of your last painful breakup – yes, that exact same breakup that you had worked so hard to move on from. And here she comes trying to ruin all that you’ve worked hard for. All. Of. It.

Things you should never do

While I can’t exactly tell you what to do except of these effective ways on how to maintain long distance relationships should you find yourself in this kind of misery, I can tell you what you should NOT do so the situation does not get worse. Here are the 5 things you should never do when your ex wants you back:

Say ‘yes’ right away. You have just gone through a horrible breakup, and that’s partly baecause of her. And to jump right back into it is most likely going to make you feel worse. Think it through; take as much time as you want not because you deserve it but because that’s what’s best for both of you.

Get drunk. Yes, it is tempting, and yes it seems like the best and only thing to do in the midst of this confusion. But that is not the wisest thing to do. You would be better off talking about it with someone mature and objective – brother, best friend, girl best friend, anyone who can help clear your probably currently hazy mind.

Have an instant rebound girlfriend. Apart from getting drunk, this is something may even make worse sense. Of course, you’re angry and you want to take revenge. What better way to extract that revenge than to get another instant girlfriend, right? But slow it down, gentleman; that would be unfair for everyone involved. And besides, it won’t solve anything. It might even add to the problem.

Have sex with her. As if your current situation isn’t complicated enough, having sex with her during this crucial juncture between relationship and un-relationship can only add more confusion. Orgasms would only make your hazy brain even hazier.

Say yes only to get back at her. Revenge does not solve anything and that sense of gratification can only last you so long.

Your first breakup should have taught you enough; take whatever lesson you got from that prior heartbreak and use it to weigh this situation. See this interesting article and good luck!

You can get a lot more tips on a regular basis.  Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

Will You Succeed At Online Dating?

28 Nov

Hello dear readers.

There was a time about a year back when I got tired of dating.  I don’t really know if it was the quality of my dates or I had become too familiar with the usual date haunts here in the garden state; all I knew was that I needed a breather.  It was while on this sabbatical of sorts when I became curious and gave online dating a try.  I found there were both advantages and disadvantages.  Though I had thousands of men’s profiles at my fingertips, I really didn’t know which, if any, were authentic.  Thus I backed out and just waited out my date-weariness.  I only started dating again three months later.

Are you tired of traditional dating? Has the regular meet-date-date-vanish routine been proving to be a little too much for your taste lately? Are you looking for a way to escape the boring old ways of dating but still open to opportunities for romance?

Maybe you should try online dating! See some effective tips here!

Or maybe you should not.

Online dating gives you the ability to meet more eligible women than you can handle. There are tons of opportunities for romance online but it is, unfortunately, not for everyone. It takes equal portions of dedication to sit for hours in front of your computer screen patiently waiting for friend invites, and equal portions of detachment and better judgment when the person on the other end of the line seems too good to be true. As in traditional face-to-face dating, that may exactly be what she is: too good to be true.

Online Dating Tips

So, is online dating really for you? It could be worth a try or it could not be worth your time at all. Find out if you are suited for the virtual dating realm, here are the guides:

If you are comfortable about talking to a woman you don’t see and still enjoy a lively conversation: Some people can’t communicate unless a real live human person is in front of them.  Some people need to actually feel their conversation partner’s physical presence to make it real. If you can enjoy conversing with a person you don’t see in real time perhaps you can give online dating a try.

If you are fine with long distance relationships: Online dating brings the romance opportunities on a global scale. If you are open to dating a woman who’s from Timbuktu even when you’re in downtown LA, and up for innovative online “dates”, then you certainly have a bright future in the world of online romance.

If you don’t mind sitting on the computer for several hours talking with different women at the same time, most of whom you know only by name, age, location, and a photo (sometimes, they even use avatars): It can be frustrating, if you’re really not into that kind of thing. Inadequate information about people you meet online make them seem less than real – but if you’re comfortable with that then maybe online dating may be your thing.

If you can to stop yourself from falling for someone too soon: Dating is hard enough in the real world; it is much more difficult online. It is very easy to make stuff up online; you can be a rocket scientist on your online profile and she can assume the persona of a Victoria’s Secret angel who had to be cut off from the group over a sprained ankle. So can people easily make you fall for them and make you believe in undying love when in reality, they are just faking it.

If you know how to protect yourself from online crooks: This is basic but very essential. You can pass the first four standards but if you fail on this area, you had better get your hands off the online dating world mister.

So, is online dating for you?

Surely, these are the ways to success on Online Dating! After this, know how to make a girl think about you (tips on SIBG.com).

I can give you more dating and relationships tips.  Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

Make Her See How Awesome You Are!

18 Nov

Greetings guys and thank you for visiting my site!

Whoever said that “first impressions last” knows what he or she is saying.  I mean I am like that; I find it hard to erase a first impression.  My current boyfriend had to overcome that – at first I thought he was a player and gave him a hard time.  Thankfully Dan was both patient and determined to win my heart.  It took a lot of effort before I would even give him the time of day but he persevered.  It’s been over a year now since we became an item and my only regret is having avoided him at first because of a mistaken impression.  That sort of inspired me to write this post to help men who need to repair the image they project onto the eyes of the lady of their dreams.

So there’s this girl you like,and you like her very, very much. Unfortunately, she thinks you’re an asshole. Or maybe she thinks you’re a nerd; someone who’s better off as a friend than a lover. Or maybe, just maybe, by a slight stroke of un-luck, she thinks you’re gay. Whatever her perception is of you, you know that it’s not helping you make your moves on her.

Just what do you do? How do you change the way a woman sees you? What do you do to make your lasting impression a better version of her first impression of you? Learn how to talk to girls now.

Change How a Woman Sees You

Fortunately, yes, you still can change the way she sees you. Here are some effective tips:

Change for the better. But of course you start this way! If she sees you as an annoying, self-important player – even without her having personal knowledge about your dating life, it may be because of the way you present yourself. Maybe you come off as very annoying because you talk too loudly, or talk too much about yourself. Maybe she has overheard about you talking with your buddies about your ex, or she’s seen the way you lustfully looked at her. If you want to change your impression of her, you had better change your ways.

Ask a good buddy to put in a good word for you. Ask a common friend of yours to put in a good word or two – randomly – about you; nothing too much, too sugarcoated, and too exaggerated, just something to spark up some curiosity and interest about you. Hearing something about you from someone else – the good stuff – will be more convincing as it’s from a supposedly disinterested party. PS: remember to make it as ‘random’ as possible!

Find a way to share a conversation with her. At this point, you have to make it a point that this is just a conversation, not a date, nor anything close to it. And make sure that she thinks exactly the same. The best way to pull this off is to talk to her while in a group – group date, lunch outs, anything that will allow you to speak up so she can listen, in a non-exclusive, non-intimate setup. Use this conversation as a chance to show her the side that she fails to see. Show her, through your stories, what you’re interested in, what ticks you off, and what makes you likable. But make sure to keep the subtlety in your stories, otherwise she’ll think you’re a self-absorbed jerk.

Invite her on a date. When she finally softens up to you, and she’s seemingly convinced that you may actually be a better person than she initially thought, then you can invite her on an actual date. Show her your Mr Suave side, the part of you that would make her want you. Make her forget about her initial judgment of you and wow her all night with your niceness, gentlemanliness, and your outstanding behavior – squeeze in a bit of humor  for good measure, that’s very important too!

Remember, it’s never too late to be really nice and likable!

I can get a lot more dating and relationship advice delivered to your mailbox.  Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

Find A Hobby To Impress Your Lady Love

11 Nov

Hello lovers.  I am glad you spared time to visit my site!  For this post I have chosen the subject of easy ways to impress women!

I was friends with Lola, the most coveted female in college at the time.  We often shared lots of stories about innovative ways that her many admirers tried to impress her.  There were times when these men succeeded, as in the case of one who won her heart, for a time at least, with his ability to cook.  There were lots more failures, some of which were such epic fails they were hilarious.  When we discussed the failures, we discovered that they were caused by men trying much too hard to impress.  Now that is funny since there are many simple ways to impress women, and some of them are as simple as a hobby you can take up.

Women are not as difficult or complicated as you think. Sure there are things that make pleasing women a bit of a challenge, but in general, women are very simple creatures. A lot of honesty, tons of loyalty, and an unquestionable level of connection are what women need most from potential current lovers. But wait, where to get dating advice (for men)? Read it now.

Perhaps the most challenging is when you don’t know each other that well, and when you are not an item – that time when you are just trying to impress an win her with whatever you have in your armory.

But you don’t really need incredible human strengths, skills, and qualifications to earn her appreciation. There are some very simple ways to impress her.

Hobbies to impress women

Don’t be a Type of Men That (Most) Women Hate. Here are some of the simplest hobbies that may actually impress women quite easily (PS: they are lasting too!).

Avid reading. What’s so difficult about spending endless hours being lost in the pages of a good book? Nothing! But it wins tons and tons of points with women. And why not? It means that you are the kind of man who invests in your mind, who is not only interested in making himself look good but also actually want to be a real man of substance.

Collecting. It doesn’t matter what you collect; collection is as simple as it is challenging, but altogether impressive. Collecting, especially the rarer stuff, requires a lot of patience and awful lot of safekeeping that spans many years. It says a lot about a man’s commitment, doesn’t it? Definitely a sure winner among women.

Fixing and handyman skills. Today’s woman, no matter how independent she has become, still has it in her DNA to look for support of a man both as a father figure and a lover. And what better way to be ‘supportive’ of a woman than to be someone who knows how to fix things when they break? Women expect men to be able to fix almost anything, just like their fathers did.  So handyman skills and an  inclination towards working with gears, crews, and toolboxes will always come out impressive.

Gardening. Think this is effeminate? Think again. Gardening sends out the message that a man is caring and nurturing – something that any woman from the caveman days to the modern human has always regarded as a plus. So use your green thumb, get your fingers in the dirt, and win her heart with your flowering blooms. Trust me, a bouquet of flowers that comes from your own garden is a much better, much sweeter gift than a store-bought one.

Cooking. Like gardening, cooking is a hobby that nourishes. I’m not talking about cooking in the professional sense. I am talking about cooking as a hobby, something that one does to entertain himself, his family and friends. Trust me, flip a pancake perfectly and you’ll have her gushing about you and your cooking all day. Remember: the way to anyone’s heart is still and perhaps will always be through the stomach.

Read more Skills That Impress Women from magforguys.com. Good luck!

Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/.  You’ll be so glad you did!

Apologies That Make Women Forgive (Almost) Instantly!

29 Oct

Greetings beautiful people!

One of the most painful aspects of dating involves any type of disagreement; the most painful, of course, being a breakup. But then experience also tells me that reconciliations after a disagreement are one of sweetest moments ever – if the parties handle it properly.  I can still vividly recall a big fight I had with my now ex Fred.   He had the temerity to react, rather positively I thought, to the advances of another female at a party we attended together; in my presence – he must be nuts!  When confronted about it he said that he was just being his friendly self and that I had nothing to worry about.  He waited till I had calmed down sufficiently and then walked up with a huge bouquet, a handmade apology card, and a big smile.  Who can resist that?

Women aren’t as complicated as you may think. You do something wrong, she gets upset, and then you apologize. That’s basically it.

I don’t see why men make a fuss over women making a fuss about what they did wrong. And when men do apologize, when it doesn’t work it’s because it is not convincing enough.

Don’t raise an eyebrow at me gents, all the ladies are nodding their heads on this one. Men think that simply blurting out ‘I’m sorry’ is apology enough. Well, trust me; that will only do if your offense was just bump her at the door on your way out or accidentally elbow her at the Starbucks line.

Apologies that work

Sweetheart, that is not enough. Let me teach you the right way to apologize to a woman:

Remember the three components essential to an apology: “I’m sorry”, “I won’t do it again”, and “What can I do to make up for it?” The first part says that you’re actually remorseful for what you’ve done, the second part is a promise that you are remorseful enough not to do it again, and the last one is to correct the damage or at least lessen it.

Put a little effort in it. Saying sorry is never enough. Be a little creative about it. Do something nice, fun, or romantic enough to equal, or better yet exceed, the gravity of the offense you’ve committed. Flowers are always welcome, a personalized dinner date, or a surprise whatever would also make the cut. I’ve said this again and again and I won’t stop saying it: gentlemen, women love effort; we know how to appreciate even the littlest bit of effort and it would be even more special if it comes with an apology.

Give it when she’s likely to forgive you. It is not such a good idea to apologize when she’s at the height of her anger. She would just think you’re saying ‘sorry’ for the mere sake of saying sorry and in a bad attempt to make her feel better. Do it when she’s calmed down and not hysterical. Otherwise, your perfect apology will just go to waste. On the other hand, don’t wait too long planning and carrying out your apology; or else you’ll be sending the wrong message that you had to think about whether to apologize or not, plus you’re likely to lose momentum. Remember: timing, timing, timing!

Make it public or do something that she would never forget and smile about when she’s reminded of it. Posting “I am sorry” on her Facebook wall does not, unfortunately, count. So think harder. It could be a big sorry sign on her street, or hiring a bunch of kids to hand her post-it’s, or anything that resembles a Hollywood romantic comedy scene. Getting other people involved would make it seem so grand; subjecting yourself to humiliation (i.e. spelling ‘Sorry’ with your butt) would make her feel like you’re willing forget your pride just to make her smile and forgive you. (Dangerous, life threatening, or blackmailing schemes don’t count and are in fact disgusting), Remember the art of getting a girl to fall in love with you!

And, possibly, the best way to apologize – movie effects aside – is to be sincere and show her that.

To get even more advice on various aspects of dating and relationships, sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

Are You The Type Of Man That Most Women Hate?

21 Oct

Good morning gents!  This post is dedicated to helping males understand why women seem to be avoiding them.

All of us have pet peeves and many of us have an idea what we behaviours or personality types we dislike in the opposite sex.  I’ve always found it hard to deal with men who are control freaks; I had one for a boyfriend for the briefest of times about three years back.  Carl was attractive and intelligent so it was not hard to get attracted to him.  It soon became apparent however that he was a control freak.  He criticized everything about me from my appearance, choice of perfumes and even my choice of friends.  Good thing I wised up after just a couple of days and called it quits.

Women of different ages, societies and intellectual interests have different opinions about different types of men.

Some like their men sweet, others like the stone-cold facade with a gooey heart. Others like their men with rock-hard, solid bodies, while others like them with flesh and fluff.

If there are types of men that they like, there are certain types of men that women really hate.

Types of men that women really dislike

But these are the men that women will almost always hate, and would never EVER date (over their dead, gorgeous bodies!). This is usually the Mistakes Men Make, find out if you’re one of them and why they actually hate your kind:

The macho man: We’re talking about machismo of the extreme type; the kind who think they can do anything and everything and they are God’s gift to women. My hormones cry foul at the mere thought of this type of man – this man who has defined excessive vanity in the male body. He thinks he does not need any help and goes about challenging every other male around him. Think, Bradley Cooper’s role in The Wedding Crashers movie – so full of himself, too confident, and excessively overbearing! Women hate the guts of this type of man simply because women are not very fond of arrogance.

The anti-feminist: These are the types of men whose brains have been sleeping in a cave and have not seen the developments of the female movement. Women can do just as well as men, but these guys hate the challenge that equally great women pose to their ego. Dating this kind of man will involve a lot of bragging about men’s accomplishment along with assertions that women should just stay at home and be homemakers. We girls just would love to shove a teeny tiny teacup up the mouth of these types of men to shut them up;  see this how to strike up a conversation with a girl you met.

The domineering male: This man is a little bit of macho, a little bit of anti-feminist and 500% disrespectful, foul-mouthed, and bossy man. He wants to take charge, he takes orders for her, he tells her what to do, and he’d likely yell at his woman when he gets pissed. He’s the kind of dominator that even the most submissive woman would be wise to stay away from.

The foul-mouthed, trash-trash talking kind of guy: These are the kinds of guys whose entire sentences would get bleeped out if they go on TV. They think they are so cool by talking in a language that only they can understand; they use the kind of dirty talk that is not sexy at all; they speak with an expletive at every other word. Women do not like going out with them simply because they don’t think they can have a good and sensible conversation with someone who cannot talk respectfully.

The over-eager dude: Over eagerness is a sign of neediness; it makes the chase unexciting, predictable, and outright boring for the women. You have to pull yourself back a little bit to make her miss and want you; don’t give too much of yourself too soon – don’t give her the message that you’ll always be there and that she can walk around and still expect to find you where she left you. Teach her how to value you.

That is why many girls torture themselves with diets and suffer themselves to exhaustion trying to approximate their appearance to the ideal. But if men really needed such sacrifices, then humanity would already be on the verge of extinction because there are not enough models to go around for all guys. So, what then? -from ShyMagazine.com

If you’re any of these men, learn a thing or two about how to impress women and drop these personas! ASAP!

Get tips on impressing and women.  Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/

A Beauty Routine For Men? Why Not?

9 Oct

Good day beautiful people!  Do you all think that vanity is reserved for women?  That may not hold true anymore!

All people have at least a tiny bit of vanity; they may be proud of their hair, their figure (or muscles in the case of guys), their eyes.  As a woman it’s natural for me to highlight my best features and try to mask what may be seen as physical imperfections.  This has caused a bit of a problem with my boyfriend who prefers to see the raw ‘me’ instead of the made-up version.  He adoringly says that I should not mess with perfection.  But as a woman, I can’t help but try to improve upon my God-given physical attributes.  We have since reached a happy compromise where I don’t mess too much with what he calls perfection – just enough to satisfy my feminine urges.  But these days men are getting more vain than ever before.

Gone are the days when only the girls define beauty. And gone are the days when only the ladies are allowed to try out practices and rituals that improve the outward look. These days, it is perfectly acceptable to see gentlemen who dab a little moisturizer and spend a little more time on getting their hair done, this is a sure way on to how to get an Asian girl. You don’t even have to be a Hollywood actor, a model or some popular politician to have an excuse to have your very own beauty ritual or two.

For the uninitiated, these manly regimens go beyond the usual deodorant-perfume. These are things that have you going out of your usual way to not only look good but to also make yourself feel good. See this guide for natural healthy beauty products.

Beauty Tips for Men

If you’re not at it yet, or if you are just starting to accept the concept of starting a “beauty” ritual, here are some tips:

Cleanse-tone-moisturize your face: These are the basics. It might sound a little too intimidating for the newbie, but trust me, it’s no rocket science. Why do you need to do this? Simple: to keep your face clean and healthy. See, cleansing your face is not just for us women who put on too many layers of makeup. It’s for everyone who gets exposed to elements every single day – pollution, dust, what-have-you. Toning is to keep the skin tone even; nothing is more distracting and disconcerting than uneven facial skin tone. And of course you need to moisturize. Not only is dry skin unattractive and unhealthy-looking; it is also more prone to breakouts.

Use hand lotion: No girl can resist locking fingers with a guy with soft hands. See, dry and callous hands are no longer the only measure of manliness, especially when the non-athletic men of this generation can never achieve that from sitting all day in front of a computer. To make it a little bit more useful, hand lotions now come with antibacterial features.

Use foot lotion: Just the same as soft hands are irresistible, hard, cracked and dry heels are as horrible. So dab on some foot lotion to improve that. A foot spa session every two weeks could also do wonders for your feet so go ahead and make that bi-weekly trip.

Apply lip balm: This may not be the manliest thing on the planet but it does have its benefits. The help maintain a pair of deliciously kissable lips – the kind that girls dig. Thankfully, they come in mini-canister types and not just the stick kind. And there are varieties and brands that are unscented and unflavored so you don’t have to worry about tasting like her favorite berries when you smooch.

Use body scrub occasionally: Before you give me that weird look, body scrub is actually good for you. Better than you can imagine. Body scrubs, usually offered at spas and wellness centers, help your skin exfoliate bringing out a cleaner, newer, healthier skin. On top of that, body scrubs are very relaxing; it feels just like getting some good ol’ massage.

Come on, just because we girls do it more does not mean you can’t do it! Caring for your body and your looks can be a manly thing too. So go ahead and try any of these tips and try to avoid the usual mistakes men make!

If you need anything else, email me at help@thesoilsisters.com. Good day!

Get more advice delivered straight to your mailbox.  Sign up for my newsletter: “The Lindy Weekly”: http://thesoilsisters.com/about-me/